Signed, Sealed and Delivered...I'm Theirs!

So yesterday was kind of a monumental day for me in terms of the whole nursing experience.  I signed my contract!  It didn't really hit me fully yesterday when I signed it but today I feel kind of different, kind of like when you have a birthday and you don't feel another year older until a few days after.  I sat there as the program coordinator went through the contract and it kind of felt like a blur, except I made sure to turn in for key words like "pay back TMC in full immediately if leaving the program," and "14, 275K 'and some change', will be owed."  Yikes.  I felt like I should have cut my finger to give her some blood when it was all said and done.  I also signed to be theirs for 3 years afterwards.  That part I'm totally cool with, I like TMC and will need a job for sure, so no qualms there.  And I got a huge pile of books to go along with my signing, wow.  Have I mentioned they're heavy?  And thick?  

I've really been having a lot of internal conversations lately, and talks with good friends and family and it's still amazing to me how long this has all been in process.  I was talking to my friend Lauren, and telling her about the news, and she was so excited for me and said "you've wanted this since you were 14!"  I thought about that, and she is right, I've wanted this for so long, and now it's happening. Why one week before classes start am I going to doubt myself?  I've just began to realize that by doing that I'm short changing myself and the other very important people in my life who believe in me; asserting in a way that their opinions are incorrect. 

Sometimes when I get nervous I think about my grandfather.  He wanted this so badly for me as well, and part of me is so incredibly sad not to have him here to share this with; an ache that comes from somewhere inside of me on a daily basis.  I know he knows, and I know he's happy for me, and I fully believe he will get me through.  It's just he's always been my cheerleader through every milestone and this is the first one I haven't been able to share with him in the flesh, haven't been able to hear his voice on and that still feels hard.

In spite of all of this I've got to have an "I can do this" attitude, and though I'm nervous, it seems that things are unfolding just as they are supposed to, and who am I to argue about that? It's not like their wasn't adversity or the chance for the door to close in this situation too.  So welcome to the new attitude that I choose to have, this is such a wonderful time in my life and it's time I started living in it:)

Scrub pics in a few days I hope! :)

On my way!

So I've decided to make this thing "a go" now since it looks like I'm actually going to go to nursing school! I've just finished my summer classes and finally feel like I have a few weeks to catch my breath. It's crazy though, when your life is so consumed by studying and going to work, you kind of forget what to do when you don't have to study anymore. It's strange (but refreshing) to not have to start studying when I get home at midnight after a 12 hour shift. I know my respite is short lived, but I'm thankful for it. :) I managed to get 3 A's and a B (dang the psychology!) so I guess it's going to happen...nursing school starting 8/27. It's amazing, ya know, because I've spent so many years dreaming about this, and almost as many trying (it seems!) to get into school and now that it's upon me, I think I'm a little in shock.

Anyway the next few weeks will bring me a vacation, time with friends and of course buying scrubs and my most exciting purchase? A stethoscope. Wow.

Pictures to come when I make the purchases. I hope you'll continue to read along:)

Here we go!

Hi Everyone!

So I've never done anything like this whole blogging thing before, mainly because I usually don't have anything cool enough in my life going on, or because I get bored (I was always that person that spent more time working on the cover of the journal but never actually wrote anything inside!).  But I thought it might be cool for me to look back on this in a few years when it's all said and done.  Although who knows, maybe these posts will be like my old school pictures and I'll be just fine if I never look at them again! :)  

I thought it might also be cool to have a way for friends and family to keep tabs on me while I go through this, so ya'll know I'm still alive!  I will also post pictures every now and then, once I figure out how.  I am so proud of myself though, because I made my layout with my own picture and everything!! 

Hope you'll come along with me on this adventure, should be interesting! :)